The sign on the door in my doctor's office between the waiting room and the examination rooms reads: "Keep this door closed at all times." How does one go from the waiting room to the inner sanctum if the door is closed at all times?The Marlboro Man? Hilarious! I think I'll try it.
They made me sign the [Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act] form every time I went to have blood drawn. I told them I signed it the last time. "Well, you've got to sign it again!" Then I discovered they tossed it in the circular file immediately. So I began signing as Sam Adams, the Marlboro Man, Pres. Bush, etc. They never said anything.
The reference to door signs reminds me of our main door at church. It has letter-stickers on the inside that admonish the exiting worshipper, "CLOSE DOOR TIGHT." I taped up an "LY" at the end of it a couple of years ago to make "tight" into an adverb, but it didn't last long. Sheesh! Shouldn't we have good grammar at church? (Mutters to self: "If I were the pastor here, we would...")